Celebrity poker relatively celeb free

February 4, 2012
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Here are my five excuses for not winning in the Feb. 3 VIP/Celebrity Poker Party at the Indianapolis Zoo's dolphin pavilion:

1. Blinded by non-celebrity status of those at my table (Only celeb I saw playing was the Chicago Bear's Devin Hester, who seemed to be cleaning up at his table. As of the final round, advertised host LeSean McCoy of the Eagles was a no-show). 

2. Couldn't shake disturbing pre-party image of urinating polar bear in the neighborhing habitat (I've got photos).

3. Rapid-fire increase in blinds didn't allow time to replenishing my plate with complementary beef jerky (Thanks, though, Jack Links).

4. Only two Colts cheerleaders circulating, which ruled out the chance of any serious human pyramid-ing.

5. Dolphins smarter than I am with dealing with a loose-agressive player dominating the table.

Next up: Celebrity flag-football...


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  1. Can your dog sign a marriage license or personally state that he wishes to join you in a legal union? If not then no, you cannot marry him. When you teach him to read, write, and speak a discernible language, then maybe you'll have a reasonable argument. Thanks for playing!

  2. Look no further than Mike Rowe, the former host of dirty jobs, who was also a classically trained singer.

  3. Current law states income taxes are paid to the county of residence not county of income source. The most likely scenario would be some alteration of the income tax distribution formula so money earned in Marion co. would go to Marion Co by residents of other counties would partially be distributed to Marion co. as opposed to now where the entirety is held by the resident's county.

  4. This is more same-old, same-old from a new generation of non-progressive 'progressives and fear mongers. One only needs to look at the economic havoc being experienced in California to understand the effect of drought on economies and people's lives. The same mindset in California turned a blind eye to the growth of population and water needs in California, defeating proposal after proposal to build reservoirs, improve water storage and delivery infrastructure...and the price now being paid for putting the demands of a raucous minority ahead of the needs of many. Some people never, never learn..

  5. I wonder if I can marry him too? Considering we are both males, wouldn't that be a same sex marriage as well? If they don't honor it, I'll scream discrimination just like all these people have....