What is it about entrepreneurship and divorce? Hang around entrepreneurs for very long and it soon becomes apparent that some of the people who succeed the most at creating great businesses also struggle the most to hold their marriages together.
If studies or statistics on the link exist, Brad Wilcox, who runs The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, isn’t aware of them. Neither is Andrew Zacharakis, a professor at Babson College’s highly rated entrepreneurship program. However, both say their own observations support the notion.
A business owner who writes about family issues for Inc. magazine had an interesting column on the topic in November. Meg Cadoux Hirshberg isn’t aware of supporting stats, either, but she bets the divorce rate for entrepreneurs is higher than average.
Hirshberg’s piece, headlined “Why so many entrepreneurs get divorced,” admits the tensions of the business she runs with her husband have resulted in the occasional stony silence and slammed door. The very things that push any couple apart—finances, neglect, minimal communication and different goals—“produce a toxic cocktail of resentment and anxiety created by putting the family’s security constantly at risk,” she says.
Many spouses can’t compete with the intense passion many entrepreneurs have for their businesses, she adds, and business ownership can intensify traits not known for nurturing relationships—bossiness, self-importance and impatience.
Set the heartbreak of divorce aside for a moment to consider the implications for the economy. You probably know people who aspire to start a business but don’t follow through out of fear of the impact on their marriages and families. Yet, without entrepreneurs, fewer good jobs materialize and fewer products and services are introduced. In other words, the rest of us benefit from their sacrifices.
What are your thoughts? Any insights on the entrepreneurs with both successful companies and marriages? How do they do it?
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The second issue is that employees need to know who to follow. In other words the true decisions are made behind the scenes and behind closed doors. Only have one person set the tone for the employees so they never have to think about who to ask for a key decision. Yet empower the other spouse to make immediate decisions when the other is absent or have a method for dealing with those decision making issues when the "public" leader is not available.
Most importantly, both people must realize that even if you disagree or are mad it does not mean that you don't love each other. Personalizing workplace issues and not being able to separate work from home is what causes the messy breakups!
I am also fortunate to have another 9 year relationship that contributes to my success at work and home, the manager of my business, who has taken over day to day operations through 2 children, 2 new ventures, and one family medical crisis.
These days the success of my business is noted and appreciated, but it is the unseen success of my family that fills me with happiness and gratitude.