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Bruce Hetrick

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NOTIONS: Job-seeking 101: Most applicants don’t pass course

Every few years about this time, I offer free job-seeking advice for collegians. Judging from the resumes deluging my company, it’s time to hum this tune again. The first line of the first song in the musical comedy “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” is “How to apply for a job.” That’s also the name of a course I’ve long proposed to colleges and universities. While more colleges are doing that, there’s a frequent flaw: waiting until the…

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NOTIONS: In God We Trust; all others risk their civil liberties

The other night, while my wife Cherí attended class, I ate out with a copy of NUVO to keep me company. In the “letters” section, an atheist complained about Indiana’s new “In God We Trust” license plate. He said government shouldn’t promote religion, especially via a plate that requires no additional contribution, as do other “specialty” plates. When I got home, I found an e-mail from a friend wondering why these plates are so popular and whether taxpayers should bear…

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NOTIONS: The benefits of choosing leaders shaken by mortality

A client wanted to meet for lunch at Nordstrom. I was cutting through the cosmetics department when I spotted the TV. Presidential candidate John Edwards and his wife Elizabeth were on CNN. The sound was off, but their body language, facial expres sions and the headings at the bottom of the screen told the story: Her breast cancer has recurred. It’s in the bone. It’s treatable but incurable. They’re optimistic. And by her and his choice, the campaign goes on….

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NOTIONS: Collisions of the soul and tradition of white old men

Last Tuesday afternoon, I pulled up to the curb at my downtown office building. As I waited for my colleague, John, to join me for a drive to Bloomington, an old man ambled by, the dark skin on his craggy face covered by a salt-and-pepper beard. Despite mild temperatures, he wore snow pants and a winter jacket. A stocking cap covered his head. And a bright blue blanket hung over his shoulders. The old man shuffled up to a trash…

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NOTIONS: How to save lives, money, and still win re-election

As a hearing-impaired, diabetic, migraine-suffering cancer survivor, father of a cancer survivor and widower of a cancer victim, I’ve followed my share of doctor’s orders. So I’ve taken two of Monroe’s tenaciousness pills, and I’m calling (well, writing) you in the morning. Since my late wife the non-smoker was diagnosed with a smoker’s cancer, I’ve shared our sad story to educate government officials and citizens about the dangers of secondhand smoke. But let’s skip the emotions this time, abandon impatience…

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NOTIONS: Must we pay the painful price of Hoosier incivility?

One of the most effective advertisements I ever created never had to be published. The mere fear it instilled via private showings to Connecticut state legislators was enough to undo the havoc they were threatening to wreak. At the time, lawmakers were contemplating what they called a “business services tax,” a tax that would be imposed on the services one division of a corporation provided to another, so long as both operated within the state. For example, if an Aetna…

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NOTIONS: A heapin’ helpin’ of straight-and-narrow satire

·mo ·pho ·bia, noun: irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals -Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary Hi. Big Brother here. You know me: Mr. Government-Knows-Best, Mr. Run-Your-Life-For-You, Mr. Tell-You-What-You-Can-and-Cannot-Do. I realize I’m not popular in these Hoosier parts. I know I’ve failed to mandate the use of motorcycle helmets. Failed to mandate the use of safety belts in trucks. Failed to stop you from smoking up that old Chevy Malibu with your little munchkin ridin’ shotgun. Granted, after decades of…

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NOTIONS: If you want to be your best, Easy Street’s a dead end

I’ve been driving around Indiana with my pal, the professor. For four consecutive Thursdays, we rendezvoused at dawn, grabbed cups of caffeine and headed to the northeast corner of the state to teach grant-writing. Our students, desperately seeking funds for the not-for-profit organizations they lead, were eager to learn and engaged in our lesson. The conversations en route were equally engrossing. We talked about our families and their health, our kids and their activities. We covered politics, sports and our…

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NOTIONS: A short history and new meaning of Valentine’s Day

Like lots of little baby boomers, I first encountered Valentine’s Day in elementary school. My parents would take me to the dime store or drug store. We’d buy 35 or 40 overly cute cards. Then, using a list provided by my teacher and under Mom’s careful supervision, I’d sign and hand-address one for each classmate. And woe to anyone who excluded even a single soul. We couldn’t, after all, have a little baby boomer feeling unloved. In seventh grade, I…

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NOTIONS: Can you look at the world through others’ eyes?

For the past few months, I’ve served on a search committee for a large not-forprofit organization. We’re hoping to select and hire a senior public relations executive. During interviews for this position, many finalists have said the same thing: The organization needs to do a better job of “getting its message out.” This doesn’t surprise me. As head of a marketing communications consultancy, my phone rings frequently with prospective clients wanting help “getting our message out” because “we’re the best-kept…

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NOTIONS: How to use Colts euphoria to enhance a community

After the Indianapolis Colts beat the New England Patriots to win a trip to Super Bowl XLI, my fiancée and I jumped up and down in the living room and pumped our fists in the air. The cat, who was scared out of his wits, escaped up the stairs. After a celebratory phone call from my son Zach in Fort Wayne, we threw on our coats and jogged the six blocks from our downtown home to the RCA Dome, where…

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NOTIONS: Alone in the urban desert on Martin Luther King Day

It’s Martin Luther King Monday. The clock is pushing 5 p.m. And a bitter breeze bites my face as I pump petrol at a Speedway station on Binford Boulevard. I look around at the drab Indiana sky and the drab leafless trees and the drab flat landscape. And I wonder whether the world is really this drab or if it’s just me. Behind me, somewhere on Interstate 69, my sons Austin and Zach are heading northeast in their little Saturn…

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NOTIONS: A prayer for common sense on the issue of prayer

Dear God, please hear my prayer. We need a little divine guidance here (or at least a few thunderbolts of common sense). I pray today not for relief from the usual litany of woes (You hear enough about those). I ask, instead, that You help us past a nagging distraction so we might move on to more pressing concerns. As You know (because You know all), there’s a lot weighing on us in these little Edens called Earth, America and…

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NOTIONS: Writing to Betty Ford, wishing for another Jerry

Dear Mrs. Ford: I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sorry, too, that you’ve had to bear your burden so publicly. Having lost my wife a few years ago, I know private sorrow is sufficient. The newly widowed ought not have to grieve with network cameras focused relentlessly upon them, hoping they’ll sob just a bit for the viewers at home. That said, I found it distressing that your lack of tears during your late husband’s National Cathedral memorial service was…

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NOTIONS: Skip the big resolution; play New Year’s “What if?”

The ball has dropped. The champagne corks have been swept from the floor. And the rose petals have been blown by the breeze down Pasadena Boulevard. And so we begin anew: Another year. Another 12 months. Another 52 weeks. Another 365 days. Another 525,600 minutes. Another chance to live and learn, work and play, grow and love. And blessed with so much time (and it is a blessing), what will you make of yourself, and those dearest to you and…

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NOTIONS: Resolutions and predictions: Why bother?

Bruce Hetrick is on vacation this week. In his absence, this column, which appeared on Dec. 30, 2002, is being reprinted. The gym will be rife with resolvers these next few weeks. They’ll arrive, eagerbeaver, wearing sweats, headphones and heart monitors purchased as Christmas gifts by relatives hoping to encourage good habits, longer lives and less flab to hold onto in the night. On all this pricey merchandise, you’ll see Nike, Reebok, Adidas and Roots. That way, the resolvers can…

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NOTIONS: 2006 years later and still no room at the inn

I’ve sat through my share of seminars, sermons and speeches. I’ve heard all the shoulds, coulds, oughtas, haftas and gottas offered up by well-meaning teachers, preachers and other pontificators. And while I’ve tried to heed more of their wisdom than I’ve blown off, much of the blah-blah has gone in one hearing aid and out the other. You can chalk that up to dry delivery, other matters on my mind, lack of relevance or information overload. Whatever the case, the…

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NOTIONS: Looking in the mirror for Santa and Mrs. Claus

Bruce Hetrick has the week off. Before he left, he updated this column that was first published Dec. 20, 2004. Contrary to folklore perpetuated each December, Santa and Mrs. Claus don’t live at the North Pole. Their heads aren’t crowned with thick, white locks. Their clothes aren’t predominantly crimson. And there’s no sleigh in the garage, nor reindeer in the stable (in fact, there’s no stable at all.) The Clauses live, instead, on the north side of Indianapolis. As occasional…

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NOTIONS: Holidays have you anxious? Keep them in context

Just before a month of holidays focused on giving and gratitude, I got sucked into one of those proverbial working-world messes. You know the type: A Lemony Snicketish series of unfortunate events that can put good people at odds with other good people. As I got more and more drawn in, I tensed up, lost sleep, worked late into the night, began anew in the wee hours, and otherwise got distracted from deeds that needed doing, apologies that needed saying…

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NOTIONS: Let’s clear the air at state schools

Long ago, I did some work for Special Olympics. In the process, I learned a semantic preference of the organization: One never says “mentally retarded people.” One says “people with mental retardation.” The rationale: These athletes are people first, not a condition. Long ago, I also did AIDS education and prevention work. In the process, I learned a semantic preference of health organizations and their clients: One never says “AIDS victims.” One says “people with AIDS.” The rationale: Those with…

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