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Hosting Thanksgiving does not make you a chef.
However, you should know that I am rooting for you. I love cooking and never more so than in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. It is akin to playoff football leading up to “the Big Game.”
When I talk about hosting, I am always amused by the comment someone inevitably makes: “Oh, I did not realize you know how to cook.” I hear it as, they’re surprised I know how to read.
To me, the only requirement for cooking is knowing how to read any one of a million recipes available at your fingertips on an invention called the internet. All that is required beyond that is just courage and the willingness to destroy a kitchen.
We host a minimum of 15 people for Thanksgiving. My wife and I take this responsibility seriously, me with the cooking and her with the spending. This year, my wife added a new dining room table and flatware set. I love that she loves her family, and I love that they have become my family, but it does seem like an amazing investment of time and money to be used for 20 minutes. Cheers!
Even before hosting duties were passed on to us, we had “submitted” side items for consideration for the past decade. They could be viewed in a similar vein as “exhibition” Olympic sports. Like bowling in the 1988 Seoul summer games, something that never competed for primetime TV ratings but was sometimes good enough to make an ESPN highlight reel. You could accuse me of treating the family like guinea pigs, but I like to think that it is only because I respect their palates that I solicit feedback in this manner.
Lessons have been learned over the years. Any holiday host must live in fear of the “sucking” sound made when Clark Griswold cuts into the esthetically pleasing but bone-dry turkey in “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.” (Admit it, you just quoted to yourself Uncle Eddie saying, “Save the neck for me, Clark.”)
That scene is basically your nightmare holiday scenario and should guide anyone who insists on a traditional preparation of a turkey. It is why I have permanently shifted to deep-frying a turkey breast instead of taking any “roasting” risk.
Along the same line, I think about how much time and effort goes into preparing my smoked-sausage dressing. I love this dish largely because I eat it only one day per year, which I am sure my doctor appreciates, knowing how much butter is required. Based on the family’s feedback over the years, this dish has withstood significant research and development adjustments, including the creation of a condiment (pepper vinegar) to complement the flavor. Again, it is a lot of effort for one meal, but it is why Thanksgiving is much more than one meal.
My mother-in-law told me 10 years ago that I could marry her daughter if I cooked for her on a regular basis. No pressure. (I am still married to her daughter, and I try not to take that component for granted.)
So much of Thanksgiving is counting our blessings and all we have to be thankful for, especially family. My wife’s Aunt Jennifer has been a great culinary collaborator, and I always look forward to her text each June planning our attack.
Usually, we agree upon the menu, then—about 48 hours before the meal—I experience a moment of “inspiration” and sneak an extra side dish into the mix that artificial intelligence probably pushed me to create via Facebook. Happy Thanksgiving!•
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Rateike is founder and owner of BAR Communications and served as director of cabinet communications for President Donald Trump. Send comments to ibjedit@ibj.com.
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well reasoned, as always