Pete the planner: Mo money, mo problems: It’s time to redefine ‘success’

Every few years, I make a concerted effort to redefine what success looks like for me. I’ve found this to be an incredibly thought-provoking exercise, and I truly believe it’s made me more intentional in both purpose and action.

As I recently embarked on this practice again, I decided to adjust my prompt a bit, hoping to tease out even more meaning. I’m usually looking through my own lens at my own efforts and realities. This time around, I decided to find inspiration in the success of others.

First, let’s rewind before I share my thoughts of what I learned from observing others’ successes. My earliest adult views of success were pecuniary and materialistic. I strived for a particular income, a particular lifestyle and a particular net worth. While it wasn’t the most thoughtful approach, it certainly was practical. My definition of success has evolved greatly over the years, and I’m relatively pleased with where I landed: peace.

But on the journey from dollars to peace, I considered and toiled over several other ideas. For me, it’s hard not to consider the lyrics from The Lox’s 1998 rap anthem “Money, Power & Respect.” Money begets power in many cases, and that certainly has been the beacon for more than a few wealthy individuals. Respect has an appealing allure, but I’ve come to subscribe to the idea that in your 20s, you care what other people think about you; in your 40s, you don’t care what other people think about you; and in your 60s, you realize no one was thinking about you because they had their own life to deal with.

Which brings me back to observing why I might classify a random person as successful. I’ve landed on two distinct areas that are both impressive and worth your time and consideration.

The first quality involves how far a person has traveled from instability to stability. Some people simply overcome so much more than others, just to find stability. You and I don’t typically read stories about these people. Without context, their two-sentence stories are unremarkable. With all the context, you quickly realize how powerful their equilibrium really is. You usually hear only about people who exceed stability. But I’ve learned the journey from instability to stability is much more interesting than the journey from stability to wealth.

I’ve never faced significant instability. Reverence toward those who have faced it forces me to stop comparing myself to others, which has previously tainted my quest for peace. I can only exist in a state of appreciation, and that feels healthy to me.

The other quality I admire is the ability of a person to translate gifts, whatever they might be, into impact. If wealth or an abundance of talent is the initial result of a person’s journey, can they leverage those gifts into impacting the community at large?

This one is trickier than it seems at first glance. To begin with, you don’t need wealth to make a massive impact on those around you. In fact, intentionality is often enough to get the job done.

Strange detour here, but I was listening to an interview with Pacers guard T.J. McConnell the other day, and he was talking about how everyone can’t be a star, but everyone can work to be a star at their specific role. That’s the essence of impact as a success metric. We all know those people in our community who make a tremendous impact, and most of the time that impact isn’t measured in dollars. That’s beautiful, and I love it as a success metric. I refuse to believe we’re here to serve only our own interests.

If you’ve never taken time to challenge your own beliefs on success, I encourage you to do so. One quick note on what to expect from yourself: You’re going to reach for comparisons. You’re going to think of a person who’s doing it the way you want to do it and then compare yourself based on where you are now. Try to find inspiration as opposed to competitive motivation.

Additionally, there are really no wrong answers to your success self-inquiry. Extend yourself some grace while also not letting yourself off the hook with tidy answers. And if all else fails, rap anthems can certainly give you some ideas.•

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Dunn is CEO of Your Money Line powered by Pete the Planner, an employee-benefit organization focused on solving employees’ financial challenges. Email your financial questions to [email protected].