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Do you ever watch someone you’ve known for years and suddenly see them differently?
Not because they’ve changed overnight, but because a moment makes their growth impossible to miss.
That happened to me a few weeks ago at a change of command ceremony at Naval Air Station Whiting Field. My “little” brother, Lt. Col. Clif Rateike, USMC, became the commanding officer of a helicopter training squadron.
I’ve seen my brother reach important milestones before: his commissioning, earning his pilot wings, his promotion to lieutenant colonel. This ceremony had all the familiar elements: dress uniforms, salutes, flags and tradition.
There was even a helicopter flyover, with my brother among the pilots. But that’s not what made it different.
What stood out was his first act as commanding officer: addressing the soldiers and civilians under his care.
He spoke with a presence I had never seen before. And in that moment, I realized I wasn’t just looking at my younger brother anymore. I was seeing a fully formed leader.
Of course, by every definition, he’s long been an adult. He’s 42, married for 16 years, a father of five and a veteran of multiple deployments across a nearly 20-year career.
None of that was new information. But somehow, I hadn’t fully absorbed it.
A conversation that day reinforced the realization. A retired three-star general, who had traveled in for the ceremony, shared stories about my brother with genuine admiration.
Hearing someone of that stature speak so highly of him made me pause. What had I been overlooking?
It struck me how easy it is to miss the full scope of someone’s growth when you’ve known them for most of your life.
Familiarity flattens things. You remember earlier versions of a person so clearly that you forget they’ve kept evolving. You assume you’ve already seen who they are.
Then a moment cuts through that assumption. Not loudly, not dramatically, but unmistakably.
When it happens, the feeling is layered. There’s pride, of course, but also a subtle shift in perspective. A reminder that people continue to grow long after we stop noticing the incremental changes. That maturity isn’t usually marked by a single milestone, but by years of steady, consistent choices that eventually become undeniable.
A few days after my trip to see my brother, I attended IBJ’s Fast 25, a celebration of the fastest growing companies in Indiana.
I attended as a guest of my friend, Marty Obst, someone I have known personally and professionally for 20 years, from back when were “kids” working in politics together.
Back then, he spent his days as the driver and personal aide to State GOP Chairman Jim Kittle. At dinner after the ceremony, Marty told Jim, who made the effort to be there to recognize his protégé, that any success he has had is directly tied to his job as Jim’s driver. Once again, another display of maturity (there’s probably a better word) from someone I have always respected but maybe not fully appreciated.
Watching my brother take command and watching Marty receive his award reminded me how important it is to really see the people closest to us, to stay aware of who they are becoming, not just who they’ve been. Growth is often gradual, but no less profound.
And sometimes, witnessing it in someone you love makes you reflect on your own path as well.
It wasn’t their lesson to teach. But it was mine to learn, and I’m grateful I got to see it.
Congratulations, Clif. Congratulations, Marty. Thank you for being my friend.•
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Rateike is founder of BAR Communications and served as director of cabinet communications for President Donald Trump. Send comments to [email protected].
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