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Haven't ranted about many movies lately mostly because I haven't been to many.
But I did catch "The Amazing Spider-Man, a film so overpacked with coincidences and writer-rigged plotting that I didn't believe a second of it and was bugged by most of it.
The fact that Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are very good actors make the film they are stuck in even more annoying.
Trust me, I have no trouble buying a web-shooting super hero. I didn't worship or mind the one made 10 years ago. And I'm not objecting to unnecessary remakes because little that Hollywood does is necessary. (Keep in mind that Frederic March won an Oscar for "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde" only about a decade after John Barrymore made his film version–and about a decade before Spencer Tracy had at the role.)
What I have trouble with is "oh come on" moments at nearly every plot turn.
I have trouble buying a high school student getting a positions of great responsibility in a high-tech, experiment-heavy company.
I have trouble with the fact that said company barely has a security system or even video cameras monitoring its experiments.
I have trouble that, right in the middle of a work space, there's loud science-for-beginners displays for the benefit of tour groups.
I have trouble believing a high school kid can have the crap beat out of him in front of an entire student body without anyone saying anything or his family pressing charges at the same school where a student gets his parents (well, uncle) called because he slam dunked a ball and broke a backboard.
I have trouble with a student body not awed by a guy who suddenly leaps fourteen feet in the air for the aforementioned dunk.
I have trouble with a giant lizard attack witnessed by hundreds of people being reported as a rumor.
I have trouble with fire-escape access New York City windows without locks.
I have trouble with time bombs that not only have conveniently visible numeric displays but also a helpful voice to tell you how close to your doom you are.
And I'm tired of writers relying on Emma Stone's hesitant charms to carry scenes.
"The Amazing Spider-Man" is like radio commentators who are just concerned with the impact of what they are saying right now, regardless of whether it makes any sense or connects to what happened moments ago or what happens next.
All of which wouldn't be so much of a problem if "The Amazing Spider-Man" was fun and/or original.
Now where's Batman?