Questioning the CIB, Brizzi and ‘The Bachelor’

All right, class, put a fresh point on those No. 2 Dixon Ticonderogas, because here it comes, ripped (kicking and screaming)
from three or four weeks’ worth of headlines that were piling up in the mudroom next to the other recyclables …

Yep. It’s another News Quiz.

Remember, each correct answer counts for nothing, and a perfect score means zip, and cumulative scores compiled at the end
of the grading period count for even less. You may begin. Or go read Bill Benner instead and then come back. Whatever.

1. President Obama has amended or reversed the Bush administration’s policies on:

A. Stem-cell research.
B. Iraq and Afghanistan.
C. Oh, just pick something.

2. March in Indiana signals the start of:

A. Tournament season.
B. Tornado season.
C. And the difference would be … ?

3. Marion County Prosecutor Carl Brizzi recently announced he would not challenge Dan Burton
in the
Republican primary for 5th District representative, also known as the de facto election. Observers cited:

A. Burton’s cool demeanor and superior brainpower.
B. Burton’s legendary spirit of bipartisanship cooperation.
C. Burton’s
superior knowledge of where the bones are buried.

4. Speaking of de facto, the head of the Republican Party is:

A. Michael Steele.
B. Rush Limbaugh.
C. Hiding, and doing a really good job of it, too.

5. The state of Indiana’s revenue fell sharply in February, meaning:

A. A diligent Legislature would be hard at work trying to soften the blow for government agencies, families and businesses.

B. A diligent Legislature would be hard at work trying to find a way to dump it all in the governor’s lap.
C. A diligent Legislature
would be hard at work covering its assets.

6. Billionaire (down from Gajillionaire) Warren Buffett recently described the economy as:

A. Falling off a cliff.
B. Falling off a really tall cliff.
C. Falling off a ginormous cliff toward a bunch of large, pointy
rocks where it would splatter like
an overripe tomato and lie there, broken and oozing, until the sun baked it into little more than a stain with flat yellow
seeds stuck to it. Or worse.

7. The Capital Improvement Board recently disclosed that the Indiana Pacers are unable to
pay for the $15 million-a-year upkeep
of Conseco Square Garden, and:

A. Considered asking the Pacers to go back to playing at the State Fairgrounds Coliseum.
B. Asked how much more tax could
be piled onto a cheeseburger with everything.
C. Cut $400,000 in grants and funding for sissy stuff like arts and tourism,
because only overgrown men, in short pants, playing a game that is frequently more entertaining at the high school level,
can make Indianapolis a World Class City.

8. In his State of the City speech, Mayor Ballard said:

A. A bunch of things about transportation and infrastructure, but nobody was really listening because we all remember the
"Monorail" episode of "The Simpsons." B. We’re going to have to do something about this $37 million CIB
deficit, all right.
You betcha. Yessireebob. One of these days.

C. We can make this city more livable, which of course is oodles better than less livable. And now, the extra-special super-duper
fabulicious bonus question, which would count for dozens of points if we were keeping score and awarding valuable prizes,
which we’re not:

9. What is the name of the woman for whom that guy on "The Bachelor" decided he really had a heater, instead of
the "winner"
he dumped on national TV?

The answers are around here someplace.

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